It was finally my turn to testify, I found myself thanking God for bringing me down safely and for providing the means. I thanked God for my dad’s life and trusted him to take care of us and keep us through what was to come following his demise. I remember being overwhelmed with emotions and fighting back the tears. I had shared so little with the church but I had poured out my heart to the Father. I felt lighter.
I was a little more relaxed on the drive back and of course more attentive. Then I noticed him, he seemed to be the centre of the conversation. Everyone seemed to find something funny about him. Tunde just seemed to liven up the atmosphere. I wasn’t really part of the conversation, but I followed attentively, looking for a way to join in. I remember him saying he was hungry and would want to have McDonald’s. They all laughed at the thought of him going to get a meal at that time (this was around 3am). I joined in then and asked what he was going to get. The rest of the conversation was simply on/off while each person was dropped off.
Texting him via whatsapp later in the morning and asking if he got something to eat, was rather spontaneous but I did. He said he had some plantain at home & thus began our platonic relationship. I figured if I could get close to him, I could get close to the whole group. I honestly didn’t want anything beyond friendship at the time as it would just have been a rebound. So I was determined to stay clear of any kind of intimate relationship for a year or at the barest minimum, six months.
We chatted occasionally with no depth of conversation, I liked him as a friend and would have appreciated a little more (but I was guarding my heart) plus I wasn’t sure the turn it would take should anything begin, so I brushed off the thought. I remember following up on a trip he took to Nigeria for his sister’s wedding (Dec, 2013) and him promising to bring back some choco-milo (chocolate cubes) for me. He seemed to be so happy always and was always at the centre of most gatherings.
Finally, I summed up courage and offered to follow the group for a hang out after church one day. I gathered information that they were planning a trip to Turkey during the Easter holidays (2014). I wasn’t about to be left out, I made my enquiries quickly and asked if I could join in. Yipee!!! I was in, and off to Istanbul we went. I finally got to relate with many of them up, close and personal on the trip. Fun/real people to be with… but something about him still stood out. I realised I enjoyed his company more. Whether he was aware of it or not.
Then, I wanted to participate in a university enterprise competition and heard news that Tunde had won the competition some years back. Of course, his pictures were all over uni at the time. So, I approached him for help with my entry. Fate seemed to be bringing us closer and the more about him I found out, the more he seemed to take root in my heart. I fought the feelings so much, I didn’t want to be awkward around him. I appreciated the friendship that was building, and didn’t want to ruin it. So I thought it was best to reduce interactions. He seemed to have opened up a lot more and chatted me up more. “Fair enough, he might just be naturally nice” – I thought.
So, the relationship grew and I eventually didn’t want to give room for assumptions. I was receptive enough to the friendship but became very sensitive as the line of friendship was being crossed. I sent a mail (in a bid to discourage him from relating with me further) of how I was dealing with somethings and didn’t want him to get entangled in my web of emotions and bla bla bla… He didn’t buy into that at all, Infact he called me right away and demanded an explanation. Simply put, I was insecure, I was scared of my feelings, I wasn’t about to test the tides again. I wanted something lasting.
I turned to God, as always since the beginning of my new journey. I used to keep a journal where I poured out my thoughts to my Father as raw as they were. It helped me heal up, it helped me hear God better and it helped me keep track of my healing & God’s faithfulness. God was saying something to me about this relationship and I knew deep within that Tunde just might be the one I’ve waited for all my life.
So when he came up with his nicely thought out strategy for asking me on our first date (👈 click for more), I wasn’t in shock. He wasn’t a stranger to my heart. In fact, he seemed to have taken more root than I was ready to admit. There were uncertainties, but I gave them all up at the feet of the one who was giving me a fresh start, a new heart and the resolve to love again without holding back.
Infact, I realised while I was asking for a confirmation to go ahead with the relationship that I already got the description of my man about six years ago in a dream that perfectly relived itself. His parents were so receptive and happy to have another daughter and his younger sister the perfect description of the girl who loved me. So we officially began courting on the 16th of September, 2014 (two years ago today) with an assurance that we were on the path to forever.
PS: If there is anything I want you to see in our story is my willingness to love again despite the pain from my past. (I wish I could share that story too so you can understand the depth of hurt I endured but I am constrained because of some of the people involved in the story, all of whom have been forgiven).
God has your story written, so if you go through a breakup, no matter how long it’s been or how promising the future looked, it was never meant to be. Focus on rebuilding your relationship with God, trusting him with your future and following His lead. Testify through the pain, because you have just been released to enjoy the depth of love reserved for you.
…here’s to your happy ever after (that I would love to hear about)